


broken bending

by Sebastians_senpai



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Agni Kai, Fighting, M/M, avatar AU, burned - Freeform, burned iwaizumi, iwa is a water bender, iwaoi - Freeform, kageyama is a water bending prodigy, makki is an air bender, mattsun and mad dog chan are earth benders, maybe a form of self harm?, oikawa is a fire bender, oiks is jealous, scarred iwaizumi, self hate, yahaba is an air bender
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-10
Updated: 2016-11-10
Packaged: 2018-08-30 06:49:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8522800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sebastians_senpai/pseuds/Sebastians_senpai
Summary: “If I can’t bend, I can’t hurt Iwa-chan anymore.” Oikawa whispered, looking down. “Oikawa, you love bending,” his eyes widened. The brunette shrugged. “I love you more.”





	

**Author's Note:**

> i havent even proof read and i dont have a beta reader lol enjoy

Oikawa looked around him, hands resting on his hips. They’d made camp for the night, setting down their sleeping bags on the dry dusty ground, close to both a large lake of water and a thicket of woods, just far away enough from the city that they should’ve been able to spend the night without any intruders. ‘They’ being his nomad crew: Hanamacki and Yahaba the air benders, Iwaizumi and Kunimi the water benders, Matsukawa and Kyoutani the Earth benders and Kindaichi, the only non-bender. There was one other water bender: a young boy called Kageyama, whom Iwaizumi insisted travel with them to learn the ways of the water tribe. Oikawa hated him. 

He waked over to Matsukawa, who had his bare feet spread on the ground as he stood, chest rising with each deep breath. Rather than interrupt, Oikawa chose to watch him for a while, a slight smile playing on his lips. Matsukawa was a brilliant earth bender, and his expertise was only amplified next to Kyoutani, who tried vainly to copy Matsukawa’s stance. The two of them moved- Matsukawa’ movements controlled and balanced, Kyoutani’s impatient- slowly, and then brought their feet down with large slams on the dusty earth, hands raised in the air. A large column raised immediately in front of Matsukawa, strong and dependable, and he smiled. 

“Good job, Mattsun!” Oikawa chirped, clapping his hands. He looked over at Kyoutani’s attempt and shrugged. “Better luck next time, Kyou-ken!”

“Shut up!” He grumbled, frowning at his own column. It was huge, bigger than Matsukawa’s, but it was filled with cracks, dust raining down from it like a storm. He stamped his foot, ignoring the sharp jagged rocks that shot up beside him at the movement. “God damnit! Why can’t I get this?”

“It’s because you’re so stubborn,” Matsukawa said with a laugh. “The earth is the most stubborn element there is; you can’t move it by being angry, or by forcing it, you need to persuade it instead. Don’t make it work for you- work with it. Let’s try again.”

As Kyoutani started to grunt and fall back into stance, Oikawa hummed. “Has anyone seen Iwa-chan? I haven’t caught up with him since dawn.”

Hanamacki appeared from behind him then, landing with a gust of air on the balls of his feet, barely even making a sound. He taped Oikawa’s shoulder. “I’ve seen him. He’s down by the stream with Kageyama.”

Oikawa’s face soured and he whipped is head towards the stream, eyes narrowing when he couldn’t see them. “They must be further down. God, I hate that stupid brat.”

With a wave of his hand, Hanamacki sent a gust of wind to Kyoutani’s column, smirking when it blew over and fell to the ground in a pile of dust. He laid his chin against Matsukawa’s shoulder and looked at the fire bender from the side of his eyes. “He’s just a kid, Oikawa.”

“And he’s an amazing bender,” Matsukawa added helpfully, “you should go easy on him.”

Oikawa huffed, crossing his arms. “Yeah yeah, prodigy and all that. For now, he can only dream to be as good as me.”

Hanamacki sighed. “You know that’s not fair. You’re older, and you’re a different bender than he is. Plus, you know he idolises you, Oikawa.”

“Whatever,” he said sourly. “I hate the way he acts with Iwa-chan. ‘Iwaizumi-senpai’ this and ‘Master Iwaizumi’ that, like is he trying to annoy me? It’s just Iwa-chan, there’s no need for the other names.”

“Jealous boyfriend makes an appearance,” Matsukawa mumbled. “Again.”

“Iwaizumi is the strongest water bender I’ve ever met,” Kyoutani said simply, frowning as he stared at the ground. “If I were to call someone my senpai, it’d be him.”

“Oi! What about me? I actually _am_ your teacher,” Matsukawa said with a shocked face. “You don’t call me senpai!”

Kyoutani shrugged, and Hanamacki laughed before planting a kiss on Matsukawa’s tan cheek. “You’re a great sensei, don’t worry. Kyou-ken just admires anyone who can beat him in a bending match.”

“He beat me with water,” the teen said, waving his hands. “How could he beat earth with water? That’s like scissors beating rock, I just don’t get it.”

Oikawa shook his head. “No element is stronger than another. They all exist side by side and as such, each one has its strengths and each one is completely capable of winning against another, no matter how strong or weak it is perceived to be.”

“Exactly, so stop wasting time and make another pillar!” Matsukawa ordered. 

Leaving the trio alone, Oikawa walked along the edge of the stream, stopping briefly by their campfire to shoot a spark into the logs, keeping them burning. He kept his eyes narrowed in search of Iwaizumi, wondering why he’d even let the Kageyama boy join in the first place. Iwaizumi had run up to him one day after a trip to Ba sing se, claiming that he’d found a young water bender with amazing talent. 

_”Oikawa, please,” he pleased, eyes lit up. “Please let me teach him, I swear he’s safe. He’s just a kid and he has no teacher, he’ll never learn to bend in this city!”_

_“Iwa-chan, you know it’s dangerous to let new people in. We don’t know if we can trust him.” Oikawa sighed, heart in his throat as he stared at the animated face of his boyfriend, which was usually so passive._

_“I know, I’ll take full responsibility if he turns on any of us. I don’t think he will though, Oikawa, I can feel something about him. He has such potential; I just have to help him. Please.” Iwaizumi bowed._

_Eyes widening, Oikawa’s stance relaxed and he smiled. Placing a hand on his shoulder, he pulled him back up and touched their lips together softly. “Iwa-chan, you know that you never have to bow to me. If you really want him here, then okay. I trust you.”_

Oikawa wanted to punch his past self in the face. It was true that Kageyama possessed amazing ability when bending. His hands would flow with a gracefulness he had only seen in Iwaizumi before, and water was at his complete command, doing almost everything he asked of it. Everyday him and Iwaizumi would spend hours pouring over scrolls and new water-bending moves, the two of them excitedly trying out their own creations, seeing what moved a duo of benders could pull off. Each day it felt like Iwaizumi was drifting further and further from him, and he hated it. 

Sighing as he was walking, Oikawa’s foot caught on something and he looked down. A shirt. Specifically, Iwaizumi’s shirt, lying crumpled with his thick duty coat, boots and slacks. Lying next to them was another pile of clothes, water tribe clothes that had once belonged to Iwaizumi but had been altered by Kunimi, his deft hands sewing them smaller for the young boy. 

Oikawa’s blood boiled. 

He set off into a run, anger boiling in his veins, fire already sparking from his fingertips. He hated him. He hated Kageyama more than he had ever hated anyone in his life, and he was going to destroy him. Gritting his teeth, Oikawa pushed himself further, expecting to see the worst, his body burning at the thought. It was then that he spotted them, standing in the water in their underwear, submerged up to their waists as they moved their arms simultaneously, building a wave at least a hundred metres long down the remainder of the lake. Oikawa ground to a halt, anger still raging through his veins. 

This was too much. He couldn’t share Iwaizumi, not like this. This Iwaizumi belonged to him and him only.

“Hajime.” He spat out. 

Whipping his head round, Iwaizumi pulled his hands away and the wave wobbled then disintegrated, Kageyama’s bending still not powerful enough to hold it on his own. Iwaizumi spotted Oikawa, spotted the fire at his hands, burning and racing up his arms, ready to engulf his body into flames. Oikawa was angry. 

“Kageyama, out.” Iwaizumi said seriously, carrying himself to the beach again with a flick of his hand, the water lifting him effortlessly. He stopped in front of Oikawa, face twisted in worry. “Oikawa, what’s wrong? Is everything alright?”

“ _He’s_ what's wrong.” Oikawa pushed past Iwaizumi to Kageyama, flames growing higher. He felt a slither of satisfaction when the boy stepped back in fear. “I have tried to be nice to you, but I am done. I see the way you look at Iwa-chan, I know how you feel about him. Do you think I’m stupid? Think you can keep your little crush a secret? Well, you can’t. Hajime is mine, and **I don’t share**.”

“I-I, it’s not like that! I swear, it’s just- he’s just my teacher! I’m just grateful for Iwaizumi-senpai for helping me, that’s it!” The raven stuttered, his silky black hair blowing in the slight breeze. 

“Bullshit.” Oikawa’s flames grew higher.

“That’s enough!” Iwaizumi growled, but as he reached out to grab Oikawa’s shoulders the flames jumped out at him, threatening to burn. His eyes widened, and he tried a softer approach. “Oikawa, step back. He’s just a boy, don’t you have any sense left? Are you seriously letting your jealousy rule you this much?”

“Hajime, I love you, but you are so very stupid,” Oikawa sneered, too focused on Kageyama to miss the flash of hurt on Iwaizumi’s face. “This brat, this _parasite _, is trying to take you away from me. He thinks he loves you, but he’s foolish. Weak.”__

__“I’m not weak!” Kageyama huffed, squaring up. “Everything Iwaizumi-senpai has taught me has only made me stronger!”_ _

__“Is that so?” Oikawa laughed, then narrowed his eyes to slits. “Very well. Battle me in an agni kai, and if you win Iwaizumi will remain your teacher. If not, then I banish you from this group, and you don’t come back. Understand?”_ _

__“Oikawa, stop this now.” Iwaizumi’s voice was grave, hands flitting as he debating dunking Oikawa in water to douse his flames. Knowing him, he knew that it would only enrage Oikawa further, his anger and fire relentless in a way that made everyone stare in awe._ _

__“A-agni kai?” Kageyama whispered. “A fire bending duel?”_ _

__“The essence of one at least, since you’re a water bender. If you really believe Iwaizumi has taught you well, then you shouldn’t be scared.” Oikawa tiled his head up. “Or is Iwaizumi not as strong as you think he is?”_ _

__“Iwaizumi-senpai is the best sensei I could have,” Kageyama said resolutely. “I’ll do it.”_ _

__As the two men took their places, Iwaizumi grabbed at Oikawa’s arm, eyes worried. “Oikawa, why are you fighting him? He’s just a child, what’s wrong with you?”_ _

__Oikawa kept his flames at his hands, and breathed deeply, feeling the fire within him stoke. He faced Iwaizumi, gaze softening for just one second. “I can’t let you be taken away from me.”_ _

__Then, he turned his head and continued walking. On the count of three, both of the turned round, and for three seconds, nothing happened. Then, Oikawa ran.  
His hands burst into flames and he shot them wildly at Kageyama, who stumbled to the ground in shock. Oikawa shot a burst at him and grunted as the younger boy rolled away, narrowly missing being burned. Kageyama quickly drew water up from the lake, two long slithering strips that lay by his side, tensed and ready to attack. He dodged mostly as Oikawa fought at him, only using his water bending to dunk over Oikawa’s hands to extinguish the flames. _ _

__Oikawa grinned ferally and ran alongside the trees, jumping onto their trunks and propelling himself at Kageyama from all angles. He was ruthless in his attacks, managing to singe the edge of his hair and leave the ground covered in flames. Kageyama struggled to walk, his bare feet not knowing where was safe to step on, hands too busy trying to whip Oikawa with belts of water that he could bend anymore the quench the flames. Oikawa was too fast, coming at him with too much power, and Kageyama’s body was beginning to strain, the water at his sides wavering._ _

__“Kageyama, ice!” Iwaizumi yelled, hands twitching uselessly at his sides. He was so agitated that the water behind him was swelling and choppy, crashing into itself and rising higher and higher._ _

__The next time Oikawa’s first came at him, Kageyama knocked his hand out of course, quickly using the time to freeze it to the trunk. Oikawa simply grinned and melted his hand free, coming after him again. He shot blow after blow, never losing any strength or power, eyes flashing a very dangerous gold as he snarled.  
Even though Kageyama was terrified, he was astounded. He could literally see the fire inside Oikawa, see how vibrantly it lived inside him. His fire was an extension of himself, a manifestation of his emotions, and it was wild and free and so easily bended that he felt a fleeting jealously. The raven grit his teeth as he pulled up a block of water in front of him, desperately using it to parry against Oikawa’s impending blows as he was pushed further and further back. _ _

__Suddenly, his foot touched fire and he gasped as he fell backwards, the water losing its form as it landed all around him. He looked up and saw Oikawa above him, body coiled in a jump, hand burning bright and powerful, and aimed straight for his face. He closed his eyes, and waited for the blow._ _

__It never came._ _

__Instead, he felt himself being chucked roughly to the side, and then a scream.  
Kageyama lifted his head and his mouth dropped open in horror. Iwaizumi was lying when he was not two seconds ago, his face and chest on fire. Oikawa stared at him, unable to comprehend what had just happened, and then he screamed Iwaizumi’s name, bending the fire off Iwaizumi’s body as he sank to his knees, hands flitting with nowhere to land. Kageyama pushed himself along the ground and slid next to Oikawa, his breath heavy. _ _

__“Oh, my God,” he whispered, lips quivering. The left side of Iwaizumi’s head and chest was blistering and sizzling, the skin dripping and bubbling in the most grotesque way, the once smooth tan skin marred by ugly reds and pinks. Blood dripped down Iwaizumi and onto the ground, pooling in the water, and Iwaizumi was still screaming, his body jerking as he lay._ _

__“Iwa-chan, oh God no, Iwa-chan, please! What do I do?” Oikawa cried, tears dripping down his face as he stared helplessly at Iwaizumi’s blistering body. He tipped his head back, voice raw. “HELP! Somebody help us! Please!”_ _

__Iwaizumi was shaking as the sobs tore from his throat, but his eyes flitted in a way that Kageyama wasn’t sure if the man knew he was even making any noise. He could see his fingers twitching, as if wanting to bend but being unable to, and roughly he pushed Oikawa out the way, pulling water from the lake over to Iwaizumi’s bloodied face._ _

__“Move, I need to see if I can heal him,” Kageyama muttered darkly, closing his eyes and he concentrated the water over Iwaizumi’s body, trying not to flinch when the water hissed and fizzled when it encountered his skin._ _

__“Please fix him, It was an accident- I didn’t- I never meant to-“ Oikawa gasped, head reeling. He turned his head to the side and retched, spilling his guts up onto the sand. Tears covered his face, his hands shooting nervous sparks at all angles, and Kageyama hissed as one landed on his arm._ _

__“Oikawa-san, move away. You can’t burn him any more or it’ll take longer to heal. I’m doing the best I can but- but Iwaizumi-senpai only went over this once with me and I don’t-“_ _

__“I’m sorry,” Oikawa scooted back, drawing his knees up to his face, “I’m so sorry, I’m sorry, I never meant to- it wasn’t supposed to happen, I just- I need you to fix him.”_ _

__Kageyama sniffed as a tear teetered over the edge of his eye and down his cheek. “I’m trying.”_ _

__A gust of air blew them back, and Hanamacki landed deftly, his glider snapping shit at his side. “What’s all the commotion about? We could hear you guys from-“ He caught sight of Iwaizumi and hurried over, jaw slacking in shock. “Oh my God…what happened to him?”_ _

__Oikawa’s voice was a whisper. “Me. I burned him. I burned Iwa-chan.”_ _

__The ground rumpled, and from the earth came Matsukawa and Kyoutani, dusting themselves off lightly before assessing the situation. Matsukawa’s smile was wiped form his face as he looked, and he choked back a sob, turning his face. He stared at Oikawa, feeling a slither of pity as their normally proud and loving leader was left crumpled far away, staring at his hands as though they were the worst things he’d ever seen. “Oikawa, it was an accident. You’d never mean to hurt him.”_ _

__“Don’t fucking touch me,” Oikawa scittered away from Matsukawa’s hold, his eyes wild. “None of you come near me, I-I’ll hurt you. I might burn you-“_ _

__“It was an accident, Oikawa-“ Matsukawa tried again. “How did this even happen?”_ _

__“I…I…” Oikawa started._ _

__“He challenged me to an agni kai.” Kageyama said curtly as he moved the after along Iwaizumi’s body, feeling slightly assured by the glow it was giving off. He could feel it cooling the blisters, attempting to microscopicly knit the skin back together, but he knew that it would not be a fast job. If he wanted Iwaizumi to live, he would have to work on him all night._ _

__Hanamacki whipped his head round and seethed, “You what?”_ _

__“I tried to battle him,” Oikawa said weakly. “I tried to beat him, and I was going to. I was about to hit him, but…”_ _

__“Iwaizumi got there first,” Matsukawa finished for him with a sigh. He rubbed at his face, and shot a tiring look at Oikawa. “You went too far this time, Oikawa. You challenged another member of this group who has done nothing to disrespect you, and you want to call yourself a leader? What kind of leader tries to kill a boy?”_ _

__More tears slipped down his face and he buried his head in between his knees as gross sobs wracked his chest. “I know. I-I’m so sorry. I just- I just had to-“_ _

__Yahaba, who had arrived shortly after Hanamacki, sighed and looked at Oikawa in pity. “You just had to let your jealousy take control.”_ _

__Oikawa glared at his hands. “I hate this. I hate fire, and I hate what I’ve done. I don’t want to be a bender anymore.”_ _

__Matsukawa stared at him through hooded eyes. “It’s too late for that. For now, we need to concentrate on keeping Iwaizumi alive. How are you doing Kageyama?”_ _

__“It’s too hard to do this on my own,” he grit out, eyes squeezed shut. “It’s too big of an injury, I need Kunimi.”_ _

__“I’ll get him.” Hanamacki whipped open his glider and took off into the skies, returning not thirty seconds later with Kunimi clinging tightly to him.  
He landed and they slid off. Kunimi immediately pulling a large chunk of water towards him and settling down next to Kageyama, lips pinched as he worked on the deepest and worst parts of Iwaizumi’s burns. Everyone fretted as they watched, low hoarse moans being ripped from Iwaizumi’s throat as he cried, before his eye rolled to the back of his head and he went quiet. _ _

__Oikawa shot up and launched himself forward wildly. “What happened, is he okay? Is he alri-“_ _

__Hanamacki blast him to the side with a gust of wind and he slammed into a tree trunk harshly, sliding down it like a ton of bricks. The air bender scowled. “You’ve done enough damage. Don’t even think about touching him right now.”_ _

__Oikawa’s breath hitched and he tugged at his hair helplessly. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, I never wanted to hurt him. I’m a monster.”_ _

__“No, you’re just an idiot,” Matsukawa said gently as he slid down next to him, hand raised as if to land on Oikawa’s back before he thought better of it._ _

__“What if he dies?” Oikawa whispered._ _

__“He won’t,” Kunimi mumbled. “We’ll work on him overnight. Matsukawa, can you turn the earth underneath him into a slab so he’s elevated? Hanamacki and Yahaba, go bring back the camp supplies here, and make sure you get Kunimi- he’s probably wondering where we all went. It’s too dangerous to move Iwaizumi right now.”_ _

__Matsukawa twisted his foot against the earth and raised his hands, and ever so slowly, the earth beneath Iwaizumi elevated, lifting him higher off the ground and closer to the benders’ hands._ _

__“Please, is there something I can do?” Oikawa said desperately, hands clutching at the dirt. “I love him so much, I need to help. I need to keep him alive, h-he needs to know it was an accident. I would never hurt Hajime, never-”_ _

__“Oikawa-san, I think you should just go,” said Yahaba quietly. “Everyone needs to cool down and focus on helping Iwaizumi-san. You need to calm down, and I definitely think Iwaizumi will want time on his own after he wakes up. He might not want to speak to you.”_ _

__Oikawa nodded silently, pulling himself to his feet. His face was red and puffy, snot and tears dribbling down it, and he could feel a bruise forming in his back. He didn’t care; if anyone deserved to be in pain right now, it was him. How could he have hurt Iwa-chan? How could he have not stopped himself soon enough? Paid attention to his battle? How could he let his hatred and jealousy rule him? He didn’t deserve Iwa-chan. Lip quivering, he backed away a few steps, voice oddly quiet. “Tell him I love him, and that I’m so… _so_ sorry. Please.”_ _

__With that, he turned and ran, his legs carrying him as fast as they could away from Iwaizumi. He wondered if he’d ever find the courage to return.  
Oikawa lit up the sky in flames that night. He kept his fire at a constant, burning himself out the only way he knew how. He shot flame after flame, let his head tip back as he screamed a burst of fire, shooting out from his hands and feet simultaneously. He hated fire. He hated his stupid hands and the damage they’d done. He pummelled his fists into the tree trunks as hard as he could, feeling the skin rip and the knuckles protest in pain the more he hit._ _

__Oikawa grinned though the pain: if his hands couldn’t work, then he couldn’t bend. He couldn’t hurt Iwaizumi ever again._ _

__Oikawa slammed his fists repeatedly into whatever he could find. The rough bark of trees split his skin and left it marred with wood, which stuck out in all angles, only pushed further into his skin as he slammed his hands again. Blood poured down them and he clenched his jaw, biting back a scream as he brought his fists down on a nearby boulder with as much strength as he could muster, the sickening crack leaving a few of his fingers dangling at odd angles. He tried to wiggle them and seethed in pain, falling to his knees as he held them helplessly to his chest, knowing that he had at least succeeded in halting his bending from his hands.  
Oikawa knew the only other way to halt the rest of it was to push himself to the brink of physical exhaustion. He lay against the uncomfortable ground and tipped his head back, letting a stream of fire exit his mouth like a glorious dragon. His feet shot out their own flames. Burning and setting a ring of fire around him, keeping everyone else out. He kept at it for hours, even when his body creaked in protest and his eyes begged to close, he kept pushing himself. The pain of his hands threatened to knock him out, but he overcame it, focusing on the pain instead. _ _

__He deserved this._ _

__In the same way that a body may physically tire from exertion, Oikawa’s bending was beginning to wane. He was tired, so very tired, and the strength of his ending kept him up all through the night, flames burning until the grass he lay on became ash. He could feel his power receding as his energy seeped out of him, every last bit of power squeezed from him, like juicing a lemon. When his flames started to stutter, dawn of the next morning, he sat up with a gasp, gritting his teeth against a dizzy spell. His vision had gone hazy, but he forced himself onto his knees and crawled towards the boulder, eyeing it up. Hands down, feet to go._ _

__Taking a deep breath, Oikawa used what little remaining strength he had and slipped his foot under a part of the boulder. He closed his eyes and kicked it up, feeling his muscles aching in protest, and quickly dropped his foot back down just in time for the heavy rock to land on them with a stomach-turning _crunch_. Oikawa screamed, and then everything went black. _ _

__

__When Oikawa came to, he was not fully awake. It was light- he could tell that much- but his eyes would not open no matter how much he willed them to. His body was in agony, the slippery yet familiar feel of blood coating his limbs, drying in some places and congealing in others, and he couldn’t move, lying stupidly on the ground.  
He heard footsteps, a noise that sounded almost like his name, but everything was clouded, as if he were underwater. Maybe he was dying. Oikawa decided he’d be okay with that, and a small smile found its way to his lips as his reaper walked closer. _ _

__Take me, Oikawa thought, I’m ready._ _

__“Oh, my God…” He heard a voice say, and for a second he thought it sounded incredibly familiar, like a sense of security he’d grown used to. But then, the thought was gone, and he didn’t bother trying to get it back. His head hurt too much. “You fucking idiot, what have you done to yourself?”_ _

___Oikawa swore he could’ve laughed then. His reaper sounded an awful lot like Iwa-chan. As he was gently picked up and held against someone’s body, he couldn’t help but think that he smelled like him, too.  
\--  
When Oikawa actually woke up, his eyes blinked a few times as he struggled to see. His sight was blurry, and it took a few seconds before it cleared enough for him to see where he was. The last sight he remembered was the open blackness of the sky, but what he saw now was the rough sheepskin of a tent, the doors draw closed. Oikawa wondered if he’d been captured, but decided that kidnappers probably wouldn’t bandage his hands and feet expertly. He lifted them to his face, amazed that he could move them again, and only felt an ache of pain. _

__He frowned as he thought about it, clenching his jaw. They should have been broken, he shouldn’t be able to bend anymore…had he failed at that, too? “Fuck…”  
Oikawa grunted as he sat up, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. He took a deep breath and placed his feet on the floor, then shifted off the bed. He gasped as pain ricocheted up his body and he crumpled to the floor with a loud bang, his hands still too sensitive to fully soften his fall. He landed hard on the ground and sucked in a breath as pain shot through his back. “Goddamnit, fuck fuck fuck-“_ _

__“Oikawa!” A familiar voice said, and then suddenly he felt himself being lifted up gently from behind, placed back onto the bed. “What the hell were you trying to do, Assikawa? Your feet aren’t fully healed yet.”_ _

__Oikawa’s face crumpled. Iwaizumi. “Let go of me.”_ _

__“What?”_ _

__“I said let go!” He snapped, tears spilling over his cheeks. “Don’t fucking touch me.”_ _

__“Oikawa, what the hell?” Iwaizumi said from behind him, somewhat angrily._ _

__“I’m disgusting,” Oikawa whispered more to himself than anyone, drawing in a shaky breath as he closed his eyes shut as tight as they could go. “I’m a fucking monster, Iwa-chan. Get away from me.”_ _

__“Oikawa, listen-“_ _

__“I don’t want you here!” He screeched, raising his bandaged hands to his face as sobs became to spill from his mouth. “I don’t deserve to be in the same room as you anymore.”  
He heard footsteps, and then felt a hand on his face. “Oikawa, look at me.”_ _

__“I…I can’t.”_ _

__“Open your eyes and look at me, Oikawa.”_ _

__“No.” He tried to turn his head away, but the hand held him in place. “I can’t look at what I’ve done to you, Iwaizumi. I can’t.”_ _

__Silence, and then: “Tooru.”_ _

__A large sob was forced out of Oikawa’s mouth and he opened his eyes. He saw Iwaizumi - _his_ Iwaizumi- and sucked in a breath. The left side of his face was marred and twisted with a scar that ran from his forehead to his chest, the tan skin of his face merging with the mottled reds of old blistered skin, and although it was nowhere near as bad as what it had looked like when on fire, Oikawa still wailed. _ _

__“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, Iwa-chan,” he rocked himself back and forth, unable to focus on anything but his own cries. “I never meant to- I couldn’t stop in time, I-I’m a vile disgusting piece of shit a-and you always told me not to be jealous and I didn’t listen and-“_ _

__Iwaizumi wrapped his arms around Oikawa in a bone-crushing hug and pressed his lips to the chestnut brown hair, sighing. “You never meant to hurt me, idiot. I know that; you’ve never once hurt me in all the years we’ve been together, and you’d never mean something like this.”_ _

__“Why don’t you hate me?” He whispered, burying his face in the material of Iwaizumi’s water tribe coat, the warm material welcoming against his skin. “You need to hate me, Iwa-chan. You need to hurt me, o-or get me back, or something. Please don’t be kind to me.”_ _

__“Do you even realise how worried we all were? We couldn’t find you for three days, Oikawa. Makki and Yahaba didn’t even see you under all the ash and branches, and you were passed out for so long that Mattsun couldn’t even feel any vibrations of you from the Earth. We though…I thought you’d ended it.”_ _

__“I tried to,” Oikawa said quietly, sniffing pathetically. “I still will. If I can’t take my bending away then I’m leaving here and I’m not coming back. I can’t stay here knowing I’ve done this to you, Hajime…”_ _

__“Tooru, do you love me?”_ _

__“How could you even ask? I love you more than anything else in the world,” he croaked, clutching to him desperately. “I hurt you, even though I love you so so much.”_ _

__“And will you still love me with this scar?” He asked carefully, pulling back so Oikawa could see his face again._ _

__Oikawa raised a hand to his face, stroking along the waxy skin with his bandaged fingers, being as gentle as he possibly could. “I’ll love you till I die, Hajime. I don’t care what you look like.”_ _

__“Then stay here, with me.” He said simply. “Listen: you’re a jealous, petty, vindictive bastard who’s selfish and manipulative and impulsive, and you make me so mad I want to tear my hair out every day. But, you’re also so fucking amazing, Tooru. You’re a great leader and a phenomenal bender, and you’re proud and I know you’ll do anything for any one of us. The fact that I have this scar…it’s partly my own fault.”_ _

__“Don’t say that,” Oikawa pleaded. “It was my fault.”_ _

__“Primarily, yes,” he agreed with a small smile. “But I’m the one who stepped in. I knew what it meant, and I knew the consequences. I played a part in this.”_ _

__“I never meant to hurt you,” he whimpered, clutching Iwaizumi close to him. “I’m so fucking dumb, and I don’t deserve this and I don’t deserve you. You’re too good for me, Hajime. I don’t deserve your love.”_ _

__“That’s for me to decide, idiot,” He said gently, tilting Oikawa’s head up. “I love you, and have done since I first met you. You’re the one I want to be with, and scar or no scar, I still want to be with you. Don’t you want to be with me?”_ _

__“There’s nobody else in the world for me,” Oikawa said simply, gaze softening as he looked at Iwaizumi. “What about the others? They’re so angry…”_ _

__“Leave them to me. If any of them says anything I’ll set them straight.” Iwaizumi’s face tensed, then relaxed as he brushed his thumb across Oikawa’s cheek. “You gave everyone a fright, you know. Your hands and feet broken, malnourished, bleeding and bruised and completely covered in soot. You looked awful.”_ _

__Oikawa sniffed a laugh. “Thanks, Iwa-chan.”_ _

__“Shut up, you know what I mean. Why on earth would you do something like that?”_ _

__“If I can’t bend, I can’t hurt Iwa-chan anymore.” Oikawa whispered, looking down._ _

__“Oikawa, you _love_ bending,” his eyes widened. _ _

__The brunette shrugged. “I love you more.”_ _

__Iwaizumi crushed their lips together, and pulled back with a smile, their foreheads touching. “I love you, too, you idiot.”_ _

__It was then that they heard more footsteps, and looked around to see the gentle smile of Matsukawa, followed by the slightly narrowed gaze of Hanamacki.  
The curly haired boy waved. “Hey, sleepyhead. How you feeling?”_ _

__“Amazing,” Oikawa smiled._ _

__Hanamacki scoffed. “You should be grateful that you’re even here at all. Kageyama, Kunimi and Iwaizumi spent hours mending your bones.”_ _

__Oikawa flinched, catching the scowl Iwaizumi sent to Hanamacki. The smile dropped from his face. “I know. I’m sorry for causing you so much trouble.” He looked at Iwaizumi, a smile tugging at his lips again. “Thank you for fixing me.”_ _

__“We did what had to be done. Where would we be if our strongest bender was out of use? The group wouldn’t have a leader,” Iwaizumi nodded._ _

__“Do you…do you still want me to be your leader?” Oikawa asked hesitantly._ _

__“Of course,” Iwaizumi said instantly._ _

__“I do,” Matsukawa nodded gently._ _

__Kunimi poked his head through the tent. “Kindaichi and I also want you.”_ _

__Hanamacki narrowed his eyes, but sighed and nodded. “Yes, I still want you to be our leader. You’ve done a lot of good for this group over the years and…I don’t think this mistake takes away from that.”_ _

__“For what it’s worth,” A voice murmured as Kageyama stepped in, looking at the floor. “I still want to learn from you. Even if you don’t like me, I hope you’ll let me stay in this group with you.”_ _

__Oikawa shifted himself off the bed and manoeuvred himself onto his knees with a flinch of pain. Keeping his spine straight, he looked at Kageyama and took a deep breath. “I owe you so much. I was horrible to you, I put your life in danger and jeopardised your chance to become a great bender, and yet you still helped to heal me. You helped heal Hajime, and for that I will forever be in your debt. You can stay in this group for as long as you want to, and I will protect you with everything I have. So even though whenever I see you I get angry and I want to punch you in the face for spending so much time with Hajime, I’m asking you to please, forgive me.”_ _

__Oikawa bowed till his nose hit the floor, staying there until he heard Kageyama’s hesitant voice. The young boy also dropped to his knees, and touched Oikawa’s shoulder. “Thankyou. I forgive you, and I hope you forgive me, too. I realise that I was pushing my boundaries with Iwaizumi-senpai, I didn’t realise that I was taking him away from you. I’m sorry, Oikawa-san.”_ _

__Oikawa sniffed as he sat back up, looking at Iwaizumi with a wavering smile and watery eyes. “I only lost my temper because I love him so much that I don’t think I can live without him. Whenever you would spend all that time together, learning from him, getting to see him do what he does best…I get jealous. Iwaizumi Hajime is the greatest man I have ever known and I will ever know, and I guess sometimes I forget that other people see that, too. I want him to be all mine, but I have to share him. And…I’m afraid I’m going to lose him to an even better bender.”_ _

__Kageyama’s eyes widened and he shook his head profusely, raising his hands. “I’ll never reach your level, Oikawa-san. I’m nowhere near as skilled. Quite frankly, if I was to ever fight you again I don’t think I’d ever face a scarier experience.”_ _

__“That’s true,” Oikawa agreed with a smile, finally allowing himself to rise. “So I’ve still got a good while before I need to worry about you surpassing me. After all, I am the great Oikawa-san! The King of fire!”_ _

__“And it was going so well,” Iwaizumi sighed, helping Oikawa back onto the bed. “You’re such a brat.”_ _

__Oikawa smiled and leaned into him, placing a kiss to Iwaizumi’s burned cheek. “Yeah, I know.”_ _

__As the guests left their tent, Iwaizumi brushed his thumb across Oikawa’s lips softly, a fond smile on his face. “For what it’s worth, I’m really proud of you. You swallowed your pride and apologised to him, and that’s something I never thought you’d do.”_ _

__“Strange what love makes you do isn’t it?” Oikawa said softly, touching his fingertips to Iwaizumi’s mottled skin. “I make a lot of mistakes, Iwa-chan, but you’ve never been one of them. Can you blame me for being so afraid to let you go?”_ _

__“Idiot,” Iwaizumi murmured, bringing their lips together. “I’ll always come back.”_ _


End file.
